I have been very quiet over the last few months. After the Time and Light Workshop in May and my trip to Engage 15 Mexico, my life has been filled with incredible life experiences. This year, I booked a lot less weddings which allowed me to be open to exciting opportunities which presented themselves during the year. I stopped writing, but only because my head has been filled with so many conflicting thoughts and doubts and I didn’t want to confuse anyone. I asked myself every day if what I do actually matters. Is being a wedding planner worth all the sacrifice? Are beautiful flowers worth all the effort, sleepless nights and horrible hands? Is chasing hundreds of likes on the Instagram pic is worth all the trouble? Why are people so difficult? How much of service is enough to satisfy a negative person? What if there are people who cannot be happy with anything? Why are people so unkind and would love to see others fail? What if I fail? What if…
I almost gave up everything because I could not deal with any more conflict, budget cuts, expectations and fear. My passion almost disappeared, slowly being chipped away by negativity, hardship and disrespect. Yet, I am the one who allowed it. I have to take full responsibility for my own hell, I created it and only I can change it.
So the second half of the year has been about finding myself, and trying to answer my own questions. I have been truly blessed with these amazing women in my life (Rensche, my Jess, LORAINE, Cynthia, Joelene) whose support means so much to me; and my stunning clients, whose weddings are so dear to my heart. I have only 3 more weddings left this year and they are going to be amazing!
I am starting to learn how to stand up and defend myself against people who take advantage of me, or try and bully me so they can get more out of me. I am learning how to fight back and no longer accept unreasonable people’s demands. I am choosing my relationships carefully and only allowing very few people into my private world. I had to become harder around the edges, something I do not like but finding it rather useful. I am learning how to shut out the noise created by egos and just work on projects I feel are worth my creative self. I am choosing to share my art and my passion with people who treat me well, appreciate me, and want to get married because they actually love each other. And I also decided that 2016 will be my final year planning weddings, as the company’s focus will be shifting towards producing weddings by the planners I am training. So for the next 12 months I will strive to plan and produce incredible weddings, push my creativity to new heights and at the same time stay open to incredible opportunities. The sun is shining brighter on this 20 October as I am writing this post and I truly excited for what lies ahead!
So, if you want to to ask me anything, or share my thoughts about something important to you, maybe drop me an email. I would love to hear from all of you.